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Counselling 4U Cheshire Counsellor Chester, North wales, Wirral.

Counselling therapy Adults & Children

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Different approaches

How to get the best out of therapy.  BACP register

Pick a good therapist.

The terms "Therapist" or "Psychotherapist" are generic labels that are used by many different kinds of professionals . Make sure the therapist is registered with a counselling body. This will show that the counsellor follows a strict code of practice and allows you access to a complaints procedure should things go wrong.

Be as clear as you can about what you want help with - stress, relationships, your spouse, children, elderly parents, divorce, child custody, step-families alcohol or other substance abuse, eating disorders, sexual issues, grief, depression, anxiety, anger, etc. Then look for a therapist who has training and experience in that area.

If you are going to a low fee clinic, the therapist will likely be a graduate student in training, or someone who has graduated and is working toward licensing. Some of them are very good therapists, just make sure they are being supervised by an experienced licensed therapist, and that both the therapist and supervisor have training in the area you want help with.


The therapist should always be relevant to you, your issues and the purpose of your therapy. The therapist will need information about you and your life in order to tailor the treatment to you, and may ask about things that seem irrelevant to you. If you do not understand how the question, material or topic the therapist has introduced is relevant to you, ask. It might be very relevant, or it may not. The purpose or goals of your counselling or therapy should be clear, and they should be established by a collaborative effort. Don't accept or stay with a therapist who imposes his/her own interests and issues into your therapy, or establishes goals for your therapy that you don't want.

The most critical factors of successful counselling and psychotherapy are for the therapist to be able to accurately understand your feelings and concerns, have an accepting nonjudgmental attitude, and to be authentic and real (as opposed to pretending or just playing the role). The development of a positive, trusting relationship with the therapist is also critical. Either in a telephone conversation before making an appointment, or in the first or first few sessions make sure you assess the therapist.
Make sure you do your work.

Take responsibility for your learning, don't loose sight of what you want to learn, resolve or get out of therapy, and don't talk about material you know is irrelevant. Use your therapist as a coach, guide, consultant, but you have to do the work. Don't make yourself helpless and look to your therapist to do the work for you. When you are trying something new, don't blame it on the therapist, by saying something similar to "my therapist told me to ....". Take responsibility for and own what you do or want to do.

Be honest, reveal and disclose yourself, don't censure out your irrational thoughts because you know they are irrational. Don't withhold contradictory or confusing thoughts or feelings. Don't avoid discussing or revealing something to your therapist because it is uncomfortable, painful, shameful, or illegal. Don't intentionally withhold or leave out information. Face the difficult stuff.

Take what ever you discover or learn in the therapy session and apply it or
work with it in your life. Don't just work with it in session.

Don't just accept what your therapist says. Seriously consider what your therapist says, but then if it does not seem right to you, tell the therapist and discuss it with him/her, and follow your best judgment. If you don't understand something your therapist says, tell him/her you don't understand. If you don't agree, don't like or are offended say so.

Sometimes it can be very helpful to share with someone what you discuss and learn during your therapy session, but sometimes it can be harmful. Generally, it is probably better to keep your therapy private, so talk with your therapist about it before you discuss your therapy with others.