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Counselling 4U Cheshire Counsellor Chester, North wales, Wirral.

Counselling therapy Adults & Children

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What is counselling

Considering counselling ? Chances are you want something to be different?


Maybe you want to feel or act differently. You might want to make sense of something. Maybe you want to get someone off your back and agreeing to go to counselling seems a good way to do it.

Whether you want to stop or start or step sideways, it's all about change. (Growth)

Sometimes change is fun and fantastic and you step right up and take the challenge. Sometimes it's scary or confusing or incredibly aggravating. You might find yourself very sad, or tired, or feeling out of your depth.

Sometimes you want change and sometimes you just have to deal with it.

Counselling will help you to sort out the nature of the change that's happening for you. It will help you to decide if little adjustment will be best or if a major transformation is what you're after. It will help you to sort out your thoughts and feelings about the change so you are better placed to choose how to act.

You might be toying with the idea of going to counselling but worrying that the counsellor will be a total flake, or that you'll do the wrong thing, or that you'll feel foolish telling your story to someone else. Or maybe you're hoping for some answers but you can't see how a stranger can figure out what's best for you.

The 'first time' at counselling is often something of a last resort. Its what you do when you're desperate enough to try almost anything, even talking about your personal business with a stranger.


When you consider opting for counselling, an idea of what to expect may put you in a better position to get the best out of it...


Clear Expectations

The first thing is to be clear about your expectations. You want some answers, and counsellors will be trying to make sure that you get some. But they aren't likely to do that by telling you what to do or what to think. They'll do it by encouraging you to find some 'answers' of your own.

Sometimes that feels very irritating, as if someone is insisting that you jump through hoops before they let you in on the information you need. Or it can feel like a waste of money, paying for a counsellor when you end up doing all the work.


Your counsellor isn't setting out give you a raw deal or to annoy you. The thing is they can't live your life for you. So it follows that they can't give you their 'answers' or make your changes for you. In order to do their job, they need to help you develop your own strengths and resources.


Often what you expect from a counsellor is advice about the issue that concerns you. What you're usually getting from a counsellor is attention. They'll listen to your story and they'll notice what's important about it to you. They'll notice what you emphasize and what you miss out, what you value and what you dismiss. And they'll invite you to notice it too.

Through the counsellor's attention, you usually end up with a lot more information about your situation. Your story becomes much richer, you know more about what you're feeling and what you're reacting to.


Goals and Plans

With all that information you start to form some ideas about what you want. Sometimes those goals are pretty much like the ones you came in with. Sometimes the information you get gives you a different perspective on where to start or where to head and the goals are quite different from your early expectations.

A counsellor will help you to develop those goals, to work towards them, to notice your progress and to keep checking whether the goals are still relevant.

So most counsellors don't give you 'advice' in the way you might initially expect, but they will help you to understand your situation and to make your own plan. One that is tailor made for you by you, the best expert on you there is.

Different Approaches

Counsellors view their work in different ways but many agree that facilitating change is central. You come to counselling because you want something to be different. Your counsellor's role is to help you identify and understand the difference you want. They help you recognise and use your resources and talents to make those changes. They help you to notice the changes as they happen.

And when you're talking change but not doing it, then your counsellor is probably going to draw your attention to that too. They might ask you questions you find difficult. It can be distressing, frustrating, sometimes its exciting. It's not about your counsellor catching you out, its about you figuring out how to get yourself working in your own best interests.

Counsellors use all sorts of different approaches. Some do a lot of listening, some ask a lot of questions. Some invite you to bring your partner or your teenager or your family along if its relevant to include them.